| Women Tell Their Stories Just Sign Me ... Sorry |
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| "Amen!" to your 'Emotional Trauma' letter in today's Courier. [click here to read] Trauma it never ends. I write without name because I don't want my birthed child to know there was a half brother/sister that didn't get to be here. Once, I was asked to run for a political office, but could not for fear someone from my past would emerge to tattle. My child would thus hate me, my Church might remove me from position and how could I face my neighbors? I had never really saw my trauma from the outside before, unitl then, I had only lived with it internally. I was 15. I lived at home. My alcoholic father made me have the abortion. I suppose I could have run away from home. The father of this baby was 24. Later, he served time for statutory rape. You never get past this 'choice' we have the privilege to make here in the US.There's Mother's Day to remind you, your birthed child to remind you, the aborted baby's deathday (they have no birthday) to remember. You just, some- how, tote the weight of the guilt and manage to get through this life with it. (Did I mention that now that I am an adult, I really hate my father for his decision - that baby was his grandchild. But I think I understand better why my Mother didn't love my Father.) I went on to one other pregnany, it ended two months prematurely. Doctors were surprized I got pregnant and more surprised I carried that far. Of course, I denied another pregnancy. Lies. Lies. Lies. After years of pain, due to a rare form of fibroids inside the muscle,. I was forced to have a hysterectomy at age 37. Trauma? No, it's not quick and over, it goes on and on. This disease never abates or heals, it's a terminal illness we carry to our grave with us. Sign me ... Sorry. |