|VICTIMS OF ABORTION SPEAK OUT
THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE
"THERE IS NO SIN SO GREAT THAT GOD CANNOT FORGIVE NOR
WOUND SO DEEP THAT HIS LOVE CANNOT HEAL"
|"Who was hiding behind the mask?" I'd wondered to myself, "and why?" The sinister, mysterious mask was now watching me, following my every move. "Who are you?" I cried, challenging the fugitive behind the disguise. "Why are you wearing that hideous mask?" Touched by a deep sense of fear and insecurity, I suddenly reached out towards emptiness to rip the mask off.
"Dear GOD!" echoes a familiar voice racked by pain, guilt, shame, and remorse. Behind the mask was found a hopeless, desperate, wretched soul chained mercilessly to the sins of her past. As I looked more intently upon the lone figure wasting away in the darkness, I came face-to-face with reality, and discovered that the person behind the mask was me.
|THE CONSEQUENCE OF SIN = DEATH|
|After my abortion in 1971, I'd hid behind the mask of rationalization and denial, justifying and suppressing the role I'd played in the death of my unborn child. Yet the repercussions stemming from that fatal decision I'd made would haunt me for years to come. I was a total mess. I was angry with myself and bitter at life. I became anorectic and bulimic, even abusing laxatives to purge myself. I was a "heavy" smoker, smoking an average of 1-1/2 packs of cigerettes per day. I found it hard to sleep at night. My weight plummeted to 100 pounds (which was not healthy for a woman 5-feet 8-inches tall). I was also suffering constant pain in the lower region of my body, which eventually led to my having a hysterectomy at age 28.
To no avail, I'd tried to fill the void in my life via drugs, alcohol, and even the occult. I'd even tried suicide, but all my attempts had failed and left me more miserable than ever before. I had no real and lasting peace. The Enemy knew how to take advantage of my pain and my disappointments, and had used them to keep me chained to my past. I'd chosen death for my child, and part of me died as a result.
|BREAKING THROUGH DENIAL|
|My sin did find me out. I had to come to that place in my life where I needed to confront the "person behind the mask". Denying the fact that I had sinned against GOD by playing a major role in my baby's death pushed me into further bondage. I was afraid to confront my sinful past because I knew that it would hurt too much. Yet, in order for me to embark on the road to recovery, I had to be honest with myself and with GOD by acknowledging my sin. Apart from GOD, there was no hope for me.
("You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" -- John 8:32).
|In 1981, while barely holding onto life, the LORD had sent an "earthly-angel" to minister His love to me. I will forever be indebted to my neighbor, Angela, who'd seemed to have only one mission in life, namely me When I'd shared my life with her, her eyes didn't reflect judgment or condemnation. Instead, I saw GOD's love and compassion looking back at me. In all my life, I'd never encountered that kind of love before. It was hard for me to understand how GOD could love me despite all I'd done, including my taking the life of my unborn child. Though I knew I'd deserved His judgment and condemnation, He gave me love, mercy, and forgiveness instead.
On July 29, 1981, I surrendered my life to the GOD of the Bible. That very day, He forgave me of all my sins, setting me free from the chains and bonds of my past. It was then I began my journey towards His healing and restoration of my life. GOD not only forgives us of our sins, but He also forgets them. "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us" -- Psalms 103:12.
There is no sin so great that GOD cannot forgive nor wound so deep that His love cannot heal! I've held onto this precious promise since the very day I'd surrendered my life to Him; and it has remained my testimony whenever I share His love, forgiveness, and restorative power with a spiritually hurting, dying world. Through the years, I'd discovered that many hurting, wounded women who'd undergone an abortion are found sitting in the churches every Sunday. The LORD desires these women to be set free!
|"HAVE MERCY UPON ME, O' GOD, ACCORDING TO THY LOVINGKINDNESS: ACCORDING UNTO THE M ULTITUDE OF THY TENDER MERCIES BLOT OUT MY TRANSGRESSIONS. WASH ME THROUGHLY FROM MINE INIQUITY, AND CLEANSE ME FROM MY SIN. FOR I ACKNOWLEDGE MY TRANSGRESSTONS. AND MY
SIN IS EVER BEFORE ME. AGAINST THEE, THEE ONLY HAVE I SINNED, AND DONE THIS EVIL IN THY SIGHT..." Psalm 51:1-4
|THE MASK OF RATIONALIZATION AND DENIAL|
|"And GOD shall wipe away all tears from there eyes: and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither
shall there be any more pain: For the former things are passed away" - Revelation 21:4
|THE PERSON BEHIND THE MASK - pg. 1|