VICTIMS OF ABORTION SPEAK OUT
THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE
"THERE IS NO SIN SO GREAT THAT GOD CANNOT FORGIVE NOR
WOUND SO DEEP THAT HIS LOVE CANNOT HEAL"
"Who was  hiding  behind  the  mask?"  I'd  wondered  to  myself,  "and  why?" The sinister, mysterious mask was  now watching  me, following my every  move. "Who  are  you?"   I  cried,  challenging  the  fugitive  behind the disguise.    "Why  are  you  wearing  that  hideous  mask?"  Touched by  a  deep  sense of fear and  insecurity, I suddenly  reached  out  towards emptiness to  rip the mask off.

"Dear GOD!"  echoes a familiar voice racked by pain,  guilt, shame, and remorse.  Behind the mask was found a hopeless, desperate, wretched soul chained mercilessly to the sins of her past.   As  I  looked  more intently  upon  the  lone  figure  wasting  away  in  the  darkness,  I  came  face-to-face  with  reality,  and  discovered  that the  person  behind  the  mask  was  me.
THE CONSEQUENCE OF SIN = DEATH
After my abortion in 1971, I'd  hid  behind  the  mask of rationalization and  denial, justifying and suppressing  the role I'd played in the death of my unborn child.  Yet the  repercussions  stemming  from  that  fatal  decision  I'd made would  haunt  me  for  years  to  come.  I  was a total  mess.  I  was angry with  myself and  bitter at  life.  I  became  anorectic and bulimic, even abusing laxatives to purge myself.  I was a "heavy" smoker, smoking an average of 1-1/2 packs of cigerettes per day.  I found it hard to sleep at night.   My  weight  plummeted  to 100  pounds (which  was  not  healthy for a woman  5-feet 8-inches tall).  I was  also  suffering  constant pain  in  the  lower  region  of  my  body, which eventually led  to my having a  hysterectomy at age 28. 

To  no  avail,  I'd  tried  to  fill  the  void  in  my  life  via  drugs,  alcohol,  and  even  the  occult.  I'd  even  tried  suicide, but  all   my  attempts  had  failed  and  left  me   more  miserable  than   ever   before.  I  had  no  real  and  lasting  peace. The  Enemy  knew  how  to  take  advantage   of  my  pain and  my disappointments,  and had used  them  to  keep  me chained  to  my past.   I'd  chosen death for my  child, and  part  of  me  died as  a  result.
BREAKING THROUGH DENIAL
My  sin did  find me out.  I  had to come to  that  place  in  my life  where  I needed  to confront the "person behind the mask".  Denying  the fact that I had sinned against  GOD  by  playing  a  major  role   in   my   baby's   death  pushed  me  into  further  bondage.  I   was  afraid   to  confront   my  sinful   past because  I   knew  that  it  would  hurt   too  much.  Yet,  in  order  for  me  to  embark  on  the road  to   recovery,   I  had  to be honest  with   myself  and   with  GOD   by   acknowledging  my sin.  Apart  from GOD,  there  was  no   hope   for   me.

("You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free" -- John 8:32).
DIVINE INTERVENTION
In  1981,  while  barely  holding  onto   life,  the  LORD   had  sent  an  "earthly-angel"  to  minister  His  love  to   me.  I  will  forever   be  indebted  to  my neighbor, Angela,  who'd  seemed  to  have only one  mission  in   life,  namely  me  When  I'd   shared  my  life  with  her,  her eyes  didn't  reflect  judgment  or  condemnation.  Instead,  I  saw  GOD's  love  and  compassion looking  back at  me.  In  all  my  life,  I'd  never  encountered  that  kind  of  love  before.  It  was hard  for me  to  understand  how  GOD  could  love  me  despite  all  I'd  done, including my taking the life of my unborn child.  Though  I  knew  I'd  deserved  His  judgment and condemnation, He  gave  me  love,  mercy, and  forgiveness  instead.

On  July  29, 1981,  I  surrendered  my  life  to  the  GOD  of  the Bible.  That  very  day, He forgave me of all my sins, setting me free from the chains and bonds of my  past.  It was then I began my journey towards His healing and restoration of my life.  GOD not  only  forgives us of our sins, but He also forgets them.   
"As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from  us"   -- Psalms 103:12. 

There is no sin so great that GOD cannot  forgive  nor wound so deep that  His  love cannot  heal!   I've  held  onto  this  precious  promise since  the  very  day  I'd  surrendered  my  life  to  Him;  and  it  has  remained  my testimony  whenever  I  share  His  love, forgiveness, and restorative  power  with  a  spiritually  hurting,  dying  world.  Through the years, I'd discovered that many hurting, wounded women who'd undergone an abortion are found sitting in the churches every Sunday.  The LORD desires these women to be set free!
RETURN TO TESTIMONIES ARCHIVES
CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE
"HAVE MERCY UPON ME, O' GOD, ACCORDING TO THY LOVINGKINDNESS:  ACCORDING UNTO THE M ULTITUDE OF THY TENDER  MERCIES BLOT OUT MY TRANSGRESSIONS.  WASH ME THROUGHLY FROM MINE INIQUITY, AND CLEANSE ME FROM MY SIN.  FOR I  ACKNOWLEDGE MY TRANSGRESSTONS. AND MY
SIN IS EVER BEFORE ME.  AGAINST THEE, THEE ONLY HAVE I SINNED, AND DONE THIS EVIL IN THY SIGHT..." 
Psalm 51:1-4
THE MASK OF RATIONALIZATION AND DENIAL
"And GOD shall wipe away all tears from there eyes:  and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither
shall there be any more pain:  For the former things are passed away" 
- Revelation 21:4
THE PERSON BEHIND THE MASK - pg. 1